Seven more interesting/weird search terms

A while back, I addressed some questions visitors typed into Google that brought them to this site.  I also tried to address some of the stranger search terms I found in my blog stats.  I enjoy thinking about this kind of thing, and as I have previously said, my website is a public service.  So get educated and read the following:

1) true demon run matador battle nocturne

As I’ve said way too many times on this site, Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne is one of my favorite games of all time.  However, it also throws the player into the deep end of the pool, and then into the even deeper end, and then into an end even deeper than that.  The Matador battle is the first instance at which you will realize that Nocturne is not fucking around.

Time to get the buffs

Matador’s here, time to get the buffs

The key to beating Matador is having the right demons with the right skills.  Matador will beat the hell out of your party if any of your demons are weak to his force skills (the elemental equivalent of wind.)  Unfortunately, by the time you reach Matador you’ll probably just be around level 14 or so, and your demon recruitment/fusion choices will be fairly limited.  The best party at this point, realistically, should include Uzume (immune to force and has Media, an all-heal spell) and should not include any demon that’s weak to force.  You’ll need to be level 18 to fuse her, so if you’re not, get to grinding.

Matador will also buff his speed and accuracy to a point where he’ll be getting guaranteed hits and will be near impossible to hit himself – the best way to deal with this aspect of the fight is to get the Fog Breath skill on Demifiend from the magatama Wadatsumi.  Pounding Matador with Fog Breath will slow him down and make the battle manageable.

Nocturne is all about thinking tactically.  Brute force is typically not the answer to beating a boss in this game.  Matador is just the game’s way of expressing this point to players who haven’t yet gotten it.

2) nasa space diapers photo


Everyone who knows anything about astronauts knows that all astronauts wear diapers.  When you’re locked inside a giant airtight suit in the unimaginably vast near-vacuum of space performing repairs to a billion dollar orbiting space telescope, you can’t just go to a port-a-potty, so you have to wear diapers.  What few people know is that it was the development of space diapers for adults that led to advances in earth diapers for babies.

Here’s a pair of real astronaut diapers:

IMGP2699 space diapers

3) do you have sex in persona 3 portable

Persona 3 Portable is a game made for the PSP.  So if you’re asking whether there are sex scenes in the game, that should answer your question.  That said, P3P does feature the possibility of a relationship between a girl in high school and a boy in elementary school, so there’s that.


You know that if male protagonist in P3 tried dating the depressed little girl in the park social link, which would be fucking weird and creepy at best, the police would be cooling his ass off in a jail cell for the entirety of the game.  Talk about some double standards.

4) is nescafe bad for you

I’m assuming that this searcher was inquiring about the instant coffee powder that Nescafe makes and that inhabits every cupboard in the non-Western world.  From what I can tell, Nescafe is not bad for you unless you consume so much of it that you die from a caffeine overdose.  Any other use of Nescafe should be fine, including sprinkling it on top of ice cream or dumping it in gin and taking shots.*


5) freedom planet lilac hentai manga

freedom planet hentai

It’s depressing to me that my readership is apparently composed of furries who are looking for porn.

For the uninformed, Freedom Planet is a really good Sonic the Hedgehog/Mega Man X homage platformer.  I reviewed it here.  Also for the uninformed, this is Lilac, the main character of Freedom Planet:


If you really want to see porn based on this character, Rule 34 dictates that are plenty of places to find it.  But I’m not fucking helping you with that.

6) public domain best & rare world famous wallpaper download

It’s funny to me that someone was looking for a public domain image that is both “rare” and “world famous” at the same time.  Seems like an oxymoron – if it’s so rare, would it be world famous?  It’s even funnier that this search brought the anonymous seeker to my degenerate furry hentai video game website.

Anyway, I’m here for the people, so this is the first result for public domain best & rare world famous wallpaper download on Google Image Search:


Pretty nice.  I wish I were there.  Of course, this isn’t my wallpaper.  My wallpaper is naturally of my waifu.

Oh Horo why can't you be real ;_;

Oh Horo why can’t you be real ;_;

7) welcome to the nhk too real

… yeah.  Yeah.

Though if I’m anyone from Welcome to the NHK!, I’m not suffering shut-in Satou, but rather shameless nerd Yamazaki.


I’ve been told that I have had drunken nerd freakouts similar to this one that I don’t remember.

Also, this:



I hope this exploration into the darkness of the human psyche was useful to you.  I have exams, so I’m going to be off for a few weeks, but I’ll be back if my Securities Regulation exam doesn’t cause me to have a heart attack and die in class, Electronic Bluebook running in front of my lifeless body with a half-finished answer to one question out of five.  Wish me luck.

Atlus: Persona 5 to be released not after 2022


In a recent statement, Atlus promised that the highly anticipated RPG Persona 5 would not be delayed beyond the end of 2022.

“We’re trying to give the fans the kind of quality game that they’re expecting,” the company stated in a press release.  “We know a lot of people are looking forward to Persona 5, and we don’t want to disappoint them with a subpar game.”

Game director Katsura Hashino recently announced that the new Persona title would feature a cast of high school students being haunted by a series of strange occurrences.  “We’re really excited about this,” Hashino said in an interview.  “It’s a totally new direction for the series, if you don’t count Persona 4, Persona 3, Persona 2, or Persona.”

In the meantime, an Atlus spokesman noted, fans can look forward to the following upcoming Persona games with fixed release dates in 2015 and 2016:

Persona 4: Cooking All Day

Akihiko Sanada: Boxing Legend

Persona 4 Absolute Arena Platinum Ultimate

Fire Persona X (a crossover of Persona 3/4, Fire Emblem, and Final Fantasy X)

Dojima and Adachi’s Drunk Karaoke Challenge

Shut up and dance: A review of Persona 4: Dancing All Night


I didn’t really plan on buying or reviewing Persona 4: Dancing All Night.  “A rhythm game?” I said to myself, dismissively, when I heard about this game.  “I shall not stoop to buy such an obvious cash-in.  I loved Persona 4 and Persona 4 Golden, and Atlus knows that and they’re just trying to get into my wallet.  But I have more integrity than they think.  Just fucking release Persona 5 already, please.”

Then I saw a friend playing the game on his own Vita and decided I wanted it.  Because really, Dancing All Night isn’t just a toss-off – it’s really a good rhythm game.  It even tries to have a plot, and the plot almost isn’t totally stupid!  Almost.

Protagonist (now officially named Yu Narukami, though I can’t get used to it because I never called him that in my P4 playthroughs) and his Investigation Team friends are roped into joining their fellow Investigator and former pop idol Rise Kujikawa for her big comeback as her backup dancers.*  She’s re-debuting at a big concert alongside Kanamin Kitchen, a newly popular girl group with a bizarre and slightly creepy animal/meat theme.

Is it a commentary on how pop idols are treated like meat by their fans, as mere eye candy? Is Persona 4 Dancing All Night really a deep and philosophical game?

Is it a commentary on how pop idols are treated like meat by their fans, as mere eye candy? Is Persona 4: Dancing All Night really a deep and philosophical game?

As you could guess from the instant you meet them, every member of Kanamin Kitchen gets dragged into a shadow-filled world and the Investigation Team has to save them.  Protagonist’s uncle Dojima, a grizzled detective, is also on the case, and he discovers that a bunch of fans of the group are going into comas after watching a creepy video on the internet, and these people are naturally being dragged into the shadow world too.  (As a nice reference for players of Persona 3, this condition is referred to as Apathy Syndrome.  Though we already got a P3 cameo in Persona 4 Golden and a P4 cameo in Persona 3 Portable, so this isn’t really a big deal.)

The big twist about this shadow world is that, until the TV world of P4, the characters can’t fight or summon their personas through the usual methods.  Instead – no joke – they have to dance to defeat the shadows and save each pop star.  Somehow, dancing well makes the shadows happy, then they dissipate into the air and blow away.  Or something.  The game tried to explain this, but it still doesn’t make any sense.

Even in Persona dancing games you have to battle supernatural monsters that are expressions of your dark inner self

Even in Persona dancing games you have to enter an evil shadow world to battle supernatural monsters that are expressions of your dark inner self

So the story really isn’t much of anything.  Story Mode is pretty short and is just kind of there as a placeholder – as far as visual novels go it’s about as light as you can get.  But the point of this game isn’t its deep and engaging plot.  The point is getting to see your favorite P4 characters bust moves to the great Persona music that you’ve come to both love and completely get sick of after hearing it five thousand times in battle and while running around town.  Every member of the Investigation Team takes the stage at some point, and all of them can be played in Free Mode.  A new character is also thrown into the mix, and as a special treat for fans Nanako is also a playable character.  Though the whole subplot involving Nanako, a little girl, performing pop idol songs on stage in front of millions of fans is kind of weird in itself.

All that aside, the gameplay is a lot of fun.  The game makes use of three of the four button on each side of the Vita (only the -> and ◻ go unused) and players can also tap the screen to use the scratch function.  Most of the songs also allow the main dancer to pick a partner to jump in at some point if the player’s hitting the notes well enough.  Mercifully, the game offers easy, normal and hard mode versions of each song, so even if you’re total crap at rhythm games you should be able to get through it.  And the music itself is obviously great.  My favorite battle theme “Time to Make History” is thankfully in there, and there are plenty of other plain unadorned tracks from P4 together with remixes, most of which are good (though I could easily leave a few of them.)

The developers obviously put a lot of attention into the details.  Each character’s dance style really matches their character (ex: Chie does a lot of kicks/kung fu stuff, Kanji headbangs) and the other characters cheer their friends on while they dance.  (My favorite: Nanako commenting on Protagonist and Yosuke’s “bromance” when they’re paired up.)  Atlus also thoughtfully included a lot of unlockable costumes and DLC for each character, some of which are extremely fanservicey.  So if you enjoy hearing Chie complain about you making her wear a bikini while she dances, this is the game for you.  You know, if you’re into that kind of thing.

But did you expect any less?

But did you expect any less?

All in all, I have to say I’m pretty happy that I got this game.  It’s a fun diversion from my bullshit law student life. I also really like the fact that both this somewhat fluffy, fanservicey rhythm game sits in the same Shin Megami Tensei franchise as the hardcore dark Lucifer-worshipping face-breakingly-difficult Nocturne.  Though Nanako dancing to the Junes theme is pretty fucking hardcore too.

* For those who didn’t play P4, the story behind this is that Rise retired from show business to settle down back in her hometown at the ripe old age of 15, where she gets tangled up in the events of the game. Apparently Japan retires pop stars before they even reach their majority.

Study solutions part 2: instant coffee

If you’re a dedicated reader who’s wondering why I’ve been away for five weeks, it’s because my life has been fucked with school and will continue to be fucked with work until I finally go to the grave after a lifetime working 70 hours a week for people I will hate.  It’s definitely better than starving under a bridge, but sometimes I wish I hadn’t been born into a family that demands so much of itself.

That said, I’ve also been playing Fate/Extra a bit.  It’s fun but it also has problems.  I can’t recommend it to players who aren’t already fans of the Fate series.  Maybe I’ll post a more in-depth review at some point.

Fuck you, Shinji.

Fuck you, Shinji.

Since I’m back at school, I’ve been looking for more caffeine-enhancement options.  And I’ve found that, although it definitely isn’t the best coffee you can find, instant is one of the cheapest and most convenient forms of caffeine intake available.  It’s especially good for students who don’t have any time or money to spare.  So if you’re not willing to illegally buy Adderall or Modafinil without a prescription, consider these study aids:


1) Starbucks VIA Ready Brew Colombia Medium

I know I said “cheap” a few sentences ago, but Starbucks instant coffee, as you could perhaps guess, is not cheap.  I got a package of eight instant coffee packs from Kroger for seven dollars, which is a great deal if you usually buy coffee at an actual Starbucks but which isn’t so great if you usually make it at home.

VIA is pretty decent.  It doesn’t have so much of that weird aftertaste that instant coffee is known for, and I would even say it’s better than Starbucks’ regular “Pike Place” brew (which I don’t like, so this isn’t a high compliment.)  And at Starbucks’ quote of 130-140 mg of caffeine per pack, one of these will get your ass moving – depending on your tolerance, anyway.

That said, I won’t be buying VIA again because it’s too expensive.

2) Cafe Bustelo Espresso Instant Coffee

This is what I’ll be buying instead.  Cafe Bustelo is stocked at the supermarket (at my local Kroger, anyway) in boxes of six for one dollar each.  I can’t find the caffeine info anywhere, but it carries a kick, and it’s at least as strong as the Starbucks blend and probably stronger.

It’s also pretty good at far as instant coffee goes.  Cafe Bustelo is a well-respected brand that specializes in Cuban-style coffee.  While these packs of instant coffee aren’t going to taste the same as a freshly brewed cup at a Miami or Havana cafe, they are definitely better than the shitty Folgers/Nescafe powder you’ll find occupying the kitchen cabinets in most parts of the world.  At less than twenty cents a pack, I’m basically losing money not buying these things.  If you’re looking for a quick, cheap, and not-horrible-tasting coffee solution, I’d highly recommend Cafe Bustelo Instant.  They’re not even paying for this endorsement, I promise.  I wish they were, but they aren’t.

3) Trader Joe’s Instant Coffee Packet

I go to Trader Joe’s at least twice a month.  They have a great selection of stuff that you can’t get at most other places, like decent hummus and pita bread and good frozen food packages.  Unlike Whole Foods, a lot of their products are also affordable.  So when I saw this weird instant coffee packet on the shelves, I had to try it.

I say weird because the packet itself is a lot bigger than you’d expect.  The reason for this is that Trader Joe has put powdered milk and sugar into the packet along with the instant coffee powder.  This is something I wasn’t thrilled about, because I like to drink coffee black or occasionally with some cream – but never with sugar.  For that reason, Trader Joe’s instant coffee pack was my least favorite among the three I tried.  However, they are cheap (two dollars for a box of ten) and if you can’t stand coffee without milk and sugar, this might be the instant coffee pack for you.

Good luck with your studies/work.  As for me, I’m going to continue to be not dead and to post here as often as I can.  That’s the plan, at least.  Law school might just kill me at some point.

Answering feminist game critics

I have no problem with feminism as a political or social movement.  I believe women should be paid equally, have equal opportunities to live the lives they wish, work the careers they want to work, etc.

However, feminism as an approach to video games is a little different – it’s where I start to have some issues.  A while back I addressed this issue a bit, but I don’t think I really did it justice.  While Anita Sarkeesian, the current face of feminist game criticism, is certainly a self-aggrandizing sensationalist who tends to get her facts wrong (unforgivably wrong for a “journalist”, but let’s leave it at that) and although some other reviewers who have used the label of sexism are undeniably hacks, that doesn’t mean every point she or every other feminist game critic has ever made is without merit.  There may be some legitimate issues about the depiction of women in games raised by the feminist perspective, so let’s cut through all the bullshit and have a look.

It’s hard to deny that a lot of video games put female characters in provocative outfits and give them attractive designs.  While we might say the same for male video game characters, the definite focus is on the female form.  Even some games that don’t put it front and center throw in some fanservice, typically in the form of optional DLC.

May as well post the cover of Catherine again, since it's relevant here.

May as well post the cover of Catherine again, since as the most sexist platformer of all time it’s relevant to this subject.

As far as I can tell, Sarkeesian and other critics who generally follow her line of thinking believe that this is always wrong.  They point primarily to the sexualization of female characters and the prevalence of weak/submissive female roles in games (see especially the princess-style characters in Mario, Zelda, etc. needing to be rescued) as evils that have to be corrected.

However, these arguments don’t hold up unless we make a couple of assumptions.  First, that video games are a form of art, and second, that the artist always has a duty to be socially sensitive.

Video games, art, and social responsibility

Nobody can really agree on what makes something art, and the same goes for video games.  Film critic Roger Ebert thought that video games were not art and never could be art, and while I think he missed the mark, I can understand his position.  Games were originally created to be fun, nothing more.  Nobody in the 1980s questioned the moral standing of Pac-Man to eat the ghosts that constantly pursued him or the right of Mario to institute regime change in the Mushroom Kingdom.  While a lot of craft went into these old games, their developers probably didn’t intend for us to search our souls when we played them.

Times have changed, and I think some games have fully crossed the threshold between “art” and “not art.”  Just look at a game like The Last of Us – the story in that game was clearly intended to make the player think about the human condition.  However, many other games are still firmly in the “just meant for fun” category.  They might still be “art”, but if they are, they’re definitely popular art as opposed to important, all-capitals SERIOUS ART.  And it’s my contention that games like these have no real duty to advance the human race or empower any particular group of people.  If a game doesn’t hold itself out to the player as serious, it doesn’t express any messages to the player about how he or she should act or treat other people.  The Grand Theft Auto series, for example, doesn’t claim to depict realistic situations, and the fact that you can murder entire cities of people with miniguns and missile launchers in those games doesn’t mean that Rockstar Games is saying that you should do so.  Although this is a somewhat extreme example, most games fit in the same mold, and so when critics call out GTA, or Senran Kagura, or take your pick for being sexist – even if they have good points – I can’t really credit their arguments because I don’t believe their developers have any duty to depict their characters in a particular way.

This is a depiction of socially acceptable behavior

This is a depiction of socially acceptable behavior

If a game does hold itself out as a serious work of art and expresses a serious message, then I think a feminist critique is probably valid.  However, proper criticism needs to take context into account.  A game that depicts a man beating his wife, for example, isn’t sexist simply for having such a scene.  If the game depicts the man in a realistic light – as a total asshole or a highly disturbed man – then the beating itself is not intended as a denigration of women.  If the game puts forward the male character as a model for the player, that’s a serious problem that should definitely be addressed.

Video games as escapism

Determining when game developers have an affirmative duty to be socially sensitive is difficult.  It’s not likely that anyone will agree on where that line should be drawn.  However, the one thing that the current strain of feminist game criticism seems to ignore is that fact that most games are meant not as art but as a form of escapism.  And escapism takes as many forms as there are players.  If a game contains loads of sexual fanservice, that’s an instance of a game developer catering to their target audience.  If you find games that put girls in bikinis for no real reason to be offensive or denigrating, well, don’t play those games.  Instead of a lot of finger-wagging and calls for what would amount to censorship, a more positive solution to the issue would be to press other developers to create games that depict strong, non-sexualized female characters.  In fact, a lot of developers are already responding to these calls, and there are some excellent games out there that do feature strong female characters who aren’t just perfect Mary Sues.  There’s room in the massive video game market for both this type of game and the other type of game.

If anyone is curious as to why some gamers get so pissed off about the views of Sarkeesian et al., it’s likely because they (rightly) believe that these critics are trying to shove their way into their own escapist refuge.  They’re not merely interested in creating an alternative sort of game that advances their concept of positive attitudes of gender – they want every game to take on this responsibility, and they subordinate every other aspect of the game to this one, including personality, distinctiveness, and entertainment value (i.e. the reason the great majority of people give a damn about games in the first place.)  Video games should allow the player, whether a man or a woman, to live out his or her fantasies.  In general, video games act as a release valve for the player, a way to flee from the pressures of real life for a little while.  They don’t have a duty to lecture the player on the proper way to treat other human beings.  I work for a living, and my work is stressful and complicated.  Sometimes I just need to escape into a world where where I can legally punch someone in the face without provocation and also a world where cheerleaders kill zombies with chainsaws.  So I can’t appreciate the views of critics who condemn every single instance of lack of social sensitivity in video games.  The misfit freaks of the world, myself included, need that escape in some form.  And we form a pretty significant part of the market, if the sales numbers are any indication.

So that’s my take on it.  I’m not interested in insulting anyone for their views, and I think the death/rape/etc. threats that have been addressed are reprehensible, but there are in fact two sides of the “women in video games” issue, not just one.  Sadly, traditional media outlets, when they’ve bothered to report on this nonsense, have bought that one side of the story (pathetic insecure guys in basements typing insults at totally reasonable and nice people who just want to improve the games industry.)  The issue isn’t quite that simple.

Four portable games not to play on the plane (because they’re perverted)

I’m taking a long plane trip tomorrow, about as long as a plane trip can be while still staying inside the 48 states of the contiguous Union. The plane sucks ass and is horrible, mostly because I’m not a rich man and cannot afford even business class.

One of the things that makes a 7-hour plane ride more bearable is the fact that I can bring along my Vita or 3DS. The stupidly difficult Etrian Odyssey Untold: The Millennium Girl alone should take up a lot of my time and attention while shoved like an anchovy in my godawful coach seat. However, the plane being an incredibly public place, there are certain games that I feel I simply would not be able to play on it for reasons of embarrassment and public decency. The following Gamespot/Target/Walmart-sold, legitimate triple-A video game designer-made portable titles are unsuitable for travel-play for all but the most shameless and fedora-wearing-est of gamers:

1) Akiba’s Trip: Undead and Undressed


This one’s really not as bizarrely fanservicey as the cover or title suggest. Akiba’s Trip is really more of a nerd’s fantasy sort of game, involving an anime/game/figure-obsessed young man who meets a cute vampire girl (but she’s a good vampire, kind of like Twilight) who must strip the clothes off of secret evil vampires pretending to be normal people to protect the nerd-paradise Tokyo neighborhood of Akihabara from… something.

The thing that makes Akiba’s Trip not so bad in the embarrassment department is the people you’re fighting and stripping are of both genders. This still isn’t much of an argument for playing the game on the plane. Especially not when you play dress-up with your several female companions, one of whom is a Finnish weeaboo fangirl who always wears a maid’s dress but can also wear this apparently (warning: not really safe for work.)

2) The entire Senran Kagura series


You might think the above image doesn’t really suggest much of anything, and you might be right. But Senran Kagura is a game series that entirely involves schoolgirls beating each other up with ninja punches so hard that their clothes get torn off. This process is lovingly displayed in mid-fight cutscenes. There’s not much more to say than that. The games themselves look like decent enough Dynasty Warriors-style massive beatdown games, and from the bit I’ve played of Shinovi Versus that’s what they pretty much are, but without the thick layer of fanservice it’s questionable whether anyone would care about them.

3) Criminal Girls: Invite Only

criminal girls 3

This bizarre title involves a young male protagonist sent to Hell and forced, for some reason, to take charge of an assortment of cute animal-eared girls who also live in Hell and lead them in battle, or something.

I haven’t actually played Criminal Girls, but I don’t think I have to play it to get the basic idea of the game, because the gimmick of this one is that you have to “punish” the girls to motivate them, and you do that by simulating a BDSM session by rubbing a lewd picture of said girls on your Vita’s screen.

I would say the purpose of Criminal Girls is obvious – from watching a short gameplay video on Youtube, the actual gameplay parts kind of looked simplistic, rushed and tacked on (though maybe it gets better as you go on, I don’t really know.) However, NIS America decided that the best way to avoid controversy with the NA and EU releases was to keep those BDSM scenes but cover them with a translucent pink fog (note: censored, but still incredibly not safe for work.) At this point, you may ask yourself whether it’s even worth the effort to try to play this game with one hand, as it was obviously intended to be played. I can’t answer that question, but I can say that you sure as hell shouldn’t play it on the plane. Especially considering how, let’s say, not mature some of the animal-eared girls in the game look. You might actually get your name on a list if you play Criminal Girls while anywhere even remotely near a public place.

4) Monster Monpiece


I’ll be honest with you. And not just because this is an anonymous blog. I did buy Monster Monpiece. I bought it for a bargain price and mostly for the sake of journalistic curiosity, but that does not erase the fact that I bought a game in which you must rub a monster girl’s naughty bits through her clothes until somehow parts of her clothes are removed.

It’s really no help that the game itself is actually a pretty good tactical card/board game that involves some serious thinking. If you play this on the plane, the only thing your neighbor will notice is you furiously rubbing a picture of a large-breasted spider-girl on your Vita’s screen. This does have the effect of changing the monster girl’s stats in battle, but it doesn’t matter. Saying you’re playing Monster Monpiece for the card battle parts is like saying you read Playboy for the articles: it could certainly be true, because both Monster Monpiece and Playboy have legitimate non-fap purposes. But no one is going to believe you.

The new Nintendo 3DS: $200 better than the old Nintendo 3DS (I guess)

Maybe. Or maybe it really isn’t. It’s hard to say.

I earned the money for the new 3DS by writing articles about rehab centers in New Jersey.  That's not a joke.

I earned the money for the new 3DS by writing articles about rehab centers in New Jersey. That’s not a joke.

Something happened to my old 3DS. By “old 3DS” I mean the original one with the smaller screens, and by “something” I mean my now ex-girlfriend broke it in half, on purpose. All I can say is thank God I still only buy physical copies of games. I kept the box, because why not?

I haven’t played the old 3DS XL, so I can’t say how it compares to the new one, but supposedly the 3D on this one is a lot better than on previous versions. Maybe I’m doing something wrong, but it still gives me both eyestrain and a headache. Still, the incident that happened a few months ago gave me an excuse to upgrade, and this is a real upgrade: the larger screen alone is worth it.

The damn thing didn’t come with a power cord though. What’s that about? I still had my old one, but still, really. It’s a simple courtesy, Nintendo. Will you deny us that?


The stuff next to the E rating is a little confusing. Mild Cartoon and Fantasy Violence? Is that a baseline rating for all 3DS games as a whole or something? Or these might refer to the built-in stuff that I haven’t tried yet. I instead played Fire Emblem: Awakening for a few hours, and it looked really nice.

I know this is pretty old news, but if you were wondering whether you should buy a new 3DS, I guess the answer is yes. It’s just a few dollars more than the old XL model, and it’s got a bigger screen than the original. It’s also going to host Fire Emblem: Fates coming out sometime next year, and if you don’t own a Vita, Zero Escape 3 is coming out on both platforms over a year from now, and the 3DS is probably just as good a platform to play it on. If you already own a 3DS, though, maybe consider whether you have $200 that you don’t need. Especially if you own the old XL model. Again, people are swearing by the new 3D system and the button in the upper right that apparently does something, but I’m not sure those are worth such an expensive upgrade. And again, the 3D effect still gives me a headache. Am I holding the system in the wrong place? Did I not calibrate it or something? Whatever.

So I now have to pick up the pieces of my crap life, but the 3DS gives me a little solace.